My Favorite Rotten Friend

Remember that friend you had in high school that your parents hated. They were the friend that was always trying to get you to skip English class and to sneak off campus for lunch. They wore trendy clothes, had the best music and knew all the latest catch phrases. They would make you believe you were lucky to have them around, but they never had your best interest at heart. You knew you shouldn’t do the things they suggested, but somehow when they presented the idea to you, it seemed reasonable.

Central Market is that friend. With its trendy food, great background music, yummy smells and pretty pictures. I could wander the aisles reading all the labels for hours and no matter how ridiculous the product, when Central Market presents it, it seems reasonable.

Since we moved, Central Market is a little out-of-the-way and I don’t visit as regularly. Today I decided to drop in and wander the aisles of my friend, sans kiddos.

It pulled out all the stops. They were whipping up some fresh guacamole, the soups were just being put out, they handed out samples of their latest cookies, they were cooking some seasoned chicken with couscous and they were subtly blowing the smell out into the aisles.

Nevermind the $6 package of fancy marshmallows I bought for someone else. Or the $11 jar of peanut butter I considered or the $8 jar of pasta sauce I can’t live without (I also bought veggies by the way, but they are less interesting). I then came across, on the top shelf of the cheese section, a small row of tiny honey jars. Each one was a little smaller than a small baby food jar and was labeled sunflower, lavender, rhododendron or cherry. The jars were so little and cute, and even though they were almost $7 a jar, I couldn’t resist picking one up. “This is ridiculous,” I said aloud as I began reading the label. What could possibly make this tiny jar of honey worth almost $7?!

The label is printed in a way that makes it look handwritten. It is a Product of Italy and professes to be 100% Italiano Raw Honey. It has to be kept refrigerated and it can’t see the sun. There is no nutritional info on the package, but there is a spiel about the nutritional merits of raw honey and how the bees travel around Italy looking for the best flowers. I pictured tiny bees site-seeing out the windows of tiny buses in a country I would love to go back to, and then somehow, someway, before I could get it back up on the shelf, $7 for a teeny tiny jar of honey seemed like a steal.

And that’s how I ended up hiding a tiny jar of the best Cherry Honey I’ve ever had in the fridge. I have plans on how I will dole it out and who can participate in the doling. As I type this, it sounds a little silly now, but I assure you it’s completely reasonable and I am already wondering what the Lavender tastes like. My parents might roll their eyes, but my high school friend would be proud.